JUST THE LORD!

What a silly day today is. I was really hoping that it would rain today, if only to stop the dust from constantly blowing into my apartment, thus settling the bronchial rattling in my lungs. Maybe even the wheezing noise I am making would briefly pause. But no, it didn't rain, I still live by a dirt-filled construction site, in a hot little apartment with no air conditioning, where I keep the windows open all day and night, and the wheezing and death-rattling are still going strong.

I told Kelsey this story earlier today, but I'm still fond of the story, so I'll share it with the world. This morning I was working at the bookstore and a woman walks in and asks me why all of the pay phones have been ripped out of their booths in Kensington. Seeing as I generally take pay phones for granted, I neither knew nor cared what the answer to her question was. So I told her she should ask the person who ripped the phones out of the phone booths. She said she found it odd, and then left the store. So she didn't actually visit the store to buy books, no, she merely needed to ask me why the phones were ripped out. Because of course I would know. Especially since last night, in a sudden antibiotic-induced rage, I went and ripped out every pay phone in Kensington. I did this just so all those peons without cell phones would be lost and confused and forced to wander the earth in search of the last, great pay phone.
So I suppose it's a good thing she asked.

Also today in the store, I had a husband and wife in looking for books for their 12 year old son, who they described as "not a normal boy" and "not a brilliant boy" - so in 10 years time we will all know exactly who is up in the bell tower. Poor guy. He wasn't even there to defend himself. Then they said they wished he were a girl because then they could just get him Anne of Green Gables and be done with it. In the end they settled on a children's series by Rhea Perlman that is geared towards kids aged 7 and are learning to read their first "chapter books". Sweet Jesus. The boy is DOOMED. Parents make me cringe some days.

Anyhoo... I am traveling by train for the very first time on Thursday - from Los Angeles to San Diego. And I am THRILLED!!! I feel like Harry Potter!!! (I'll be the dork at Union Station walking into walls.) Right now I am reading an advanced reader's copy of Him Her Him Again The End of Him by Patricia Marx. It's a pretty silly little book, but it's got a blurb from Steve Martin o it, so it can't be all bad. I was just reading and thinking about going on a train when I came across this passage:

'... as I was staring at a page in a book I would never get to the next page in, I heard the door of my compartment slide open. "Anyone sitting here?" a male voice asked. I was ready with my usual answer, one that never failed to repel potential seat-takers. "JUST THE LORD!" I said - no, chirped.

"Would have reckoned He'd be in a first-class car, no?" the voice said.'

Dude! I am SO using that on my Amtrak journey!!! That's the best line I've read in ages! Oh hoo! Now I'm hacking again from laughing too hard.

That's all for today... 5 more sleeps until my quarter century... ta ta!