Balancing the World - One Autumn at a Time

Kelsey - you've heard this one before, but I thought it was such perfect blog fodder that I simply had to share it with the world.

The other day I was driving into Marda Loop and I'm following a giant, bright red Hummer. I don't like Hummers at the best of times - they remind me of those people who believe that global warming is a hoax (like the Holocaust -right?). Anyhoo... this bright red Hummer just happened to be promoting a local business - which is what most Hummers seem to do. The business in question? A Calgary area Feng Shui practitioner. You can hire them out to re-do your home or office. They had some woo-woo motto like "Balancing the World - One Home at a Time" - can you believe that?! I can't see how driving a Hummer around all day could possibly balance anything!!! It was a bizarre and bitter irony. Of course I followed the Hummer around for awhile because the devil on my shoulder wanted to leave a note as soon as they parked somewhere. But they didn't seem to be stopping any time soon and I just wanted to go home.

My baby shower experience was pretty non-eventful. I've learned 2 things:

1.) Baby showers are weird and boring.
2.) I have a dirty mind. What normal person giggles to themselves when middle-aged women shout out "Oh I love Pooh!" Of course they mean the bear, but the first thing I think of is that said middle-aged women have scatological fetishes. You'd think my name was Beavis. Or Butthead. Perhaps this explains why it'll be a long time coming before I ever have a baby shower of my own. (Can you imagine?!)