Alive and Well and Living in Absentia

The Dharma Bum: Part Deux

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Oh no you didn't!

So Ralph Klein has decided to call down the thunder,
well he's gonna get burned.
This Saskatchewan rodent is gonna stick it to Ralph the Dog.
GO RIDERS!!!

And now for my next trick... it's the incredible shrinking kidney!

Alright, the rage has gone. The past few days have been pretty quiet and controversy free. For Halloween I dressed up as Bunny the Badly Dressed Golf Pro. Not very original, I know, but my first idea didn't pan out. I was going to glue half of a golf ball to my forehead, but finding half a golf ball is harder than I thought. And I have since learned that trying to saw round objects in half is never a good idea. So there you go. It was nice to be polyester-free for one day at work. No trick or treaters came around the apartment, which was sad, but sort of expected. I spent my evening researching children's gulags in Russia. Titilating stuff.

Two pieces of news have caught my eye this week. First, Gainer the Gopher is not allowed in McMahon stadium at Sunday's football game. The Stamps are one of the few CFL teams that does not allow the visiting team to bring their mascots to games. Even playoff games. Their reasoning? Because Sunday's game will be a 50/50 split of Riders and Stamps fans, Gainer the Gopher would likely incite a riot of some sort between the two. Because afterall, if his "DE" and "Fence" signs aren't a call for reckless violence to begin, I'm not sure what is. It appears that the Stamps feel that Rider fans are just a bunch of soccer hooligans in disguise - with a plush gopher as their ringleader. The Stamps also claimed that they didn't want Gainer to take the attention away from their own mascot - Ralph the Dog. I for one have never even seen Ralph the Dog at a Stamps game, and I've never known exactly what the symbolism of Ralph is. They've got the chick who rides around the stadium on the horse - where does Ralph fit in? I'm pretty sure the Stamps aren't a bunch of renegade Liberals and Ralph is actually a stab at Ralph Klein. (Although that would be hilarious.) Since all this Gainer furor has begun, the Stamps have since clarified that Gainer is not actually banned from McMahon Stadium, he just has to buy a seat like every other Rider fan. I will be glad to save him a seat.

In other news, Ralph Klein has purchased himself a $2.5 million dollar chair at Mount Royal College. In the media department no less. Because nothing increases the integrity of a post-secondary institution like having:
a) a politician running the media studies program
b) a man who has never graduated from a post-secondary institution teach at one
c) a man who reportedly plagiarized an entire term paper a few years back when he took a college-level course.

All I can say is thank god it's not the Justice Studies program he's taking the chair in - I would simply have to drop out. And live in a van by the river. Eating government cheese.