Because I'm tired of feeling guilty for feeling angry.

I have lately been informed that my father is having a relationship with his secretary. Ever tactful, he let me know this via my answering machine. (Not the secretary part - my sister filled me in on that one.) In under six months, my dad - who was once my hero - has become a coward, a cliche, and the king of disappointments.

I am currently in Regina - spending my Reading Week packing up all of my childhood things. There is a lot of recycling to do! My mum was a bit of a pack rat. But I'm actually having a bit of fun going through everything. I feel like I was actually a fairly creative little child - as were my brothers and sister. Despite my current artistic shortcomings, I actually had some talent as a child - with a bit of a proclivity towards paintings in the Jackson Pollack style. My only wish is that my teachers had left notes explaining what my paintings were supposed to be. I think that would be quite interesting.

Today was an uneventful day. I went to Curves with my mum - circuit training for women. I felt a little out of place there! But at least I wasn't sitting on my ass all day. Tonight we're going for dinner and then to Capote - which I am looking forward to.

I'm copying this link from Kelsey's blog - I remember learning about the Johari Window when I was in high school, training to be a peer counsellor. I've never actually made one for myself though, so I'm interested to see the results. If you wish to participate, click here.
Signing off for today, can't wait to be back in Cowtown.

This is not a rhetorical question.

How does one protect the ones they love from the ones they love?

Conspiracy Theory

Ahh... the Olympics are here. And what would any world class sporting event be without a little contoversy? This time around, it came in the form of an illegal gambling ring - busted the week before the opening ceremonies. And who could possibly be tied to this "house of the rising sun" as it were? Mr. Hockey. Mr. Canada. Mr. I-will-gladly-endorse-any-product-should-I-be-paid-enough.... whatever you want to call him, Wayne Gretzky. Or more specifically implicated was his sterling wife, Janet. Who was foolish enough to bet on the Superbowl through said illegal gambling ring. Now, it is not illegal to place a bet in the States, but placing a bet with through a shady guy with supposed mafia ties does not do much in the way of endorsing one's clean-cut image. So the media has a field day over this little hoo-ha, wire-tapped phone calls are flung around, and next thing you know, Wayne Gretzky is talking about stepping down from managing the Canadian Olympic Team. So here's my theory... the Americans got whooped in Salt Lake City. There are no two beans about it. Maybe they didn't like the whole lucky loonie under the ice voodoo magic trick. Maybe the American team is looking for its own lucky loonie - and the best one they know of is scandal. Put Gretzky through the ringer, get him distracted, thereby getting the team distracted... and whattya know? Americans walk home with the Gold. The timing's a little too perfect on this one.

Next week I'll discuss my theories behind the JFK assassination. Just kidding.

This weekend I went to Transamerica with Kelsey (can anyone think of an adjective that starts with K? Kitschy was all I could find in the dictionary, but I just don't think that'll work.) Felicity Huffman was great. It was actually a very funny movie, but very disturbing also. Mostly in that too close to reality sort of way. It reminded me of one of those Richard Kern nudes - they're real people, not supermodels, and try as you may to look for the inner beauty in them, you can't stop yourself from feeling sad for the subjects. It is a movie well worth seeing though.

Alas, I did not go home to watch Starship Troopers, a movie, dinner, and bed are more than enough for me. However, I did watch Gray's Anatomy on Sunday night - which I am now obsessed with. This week I damn near had a heart attack. Did anyone else catch this?! Bombs in body cavities. Crazy.

I just finished a fantastic little book called Borges and the Eternal Orangutans by Luis Fernando Verissimo. I don't generally read other staff picks from work, if only because if one person can recommend a book, then I should try and find something else to recommend. Then we cover all the bases and know about as many books as possible. Anyhoo... my co-worker discovered this little gem, which I decided to read because I have been on a Borges kick lately. The narrator of the story is an aspiring writer who decides to go to an Edgar Allen Poe convention in Buenos Aires, where he meets Borges, whom he had corresponded with briefly. While at the conference, an infamous and outspoken lecturer is killed, and the narrator work with Borges to solve the murder. The book itself was no longer than 150 pages, but it was such a fascinating piece of detective fiction, with this engaging metaphysical slant. You don't need to be familiar with Poe or Borges to read it, but you may find yourself wanting to learn more about them once you have finished! It was just one of those little books that was such a gift to read. You couldn't possibly feel guilty for reading this instead of doing something productive - it was just that good!

Well, midterm week is upon us. Tomorrow it's Forensics, Thursday is Ethics and Issues in Canadian Justice, and Friday is Interviewing. Fun, fun, fun. Next week I'm heading home to sunny Saskatchewan, with my monthly delivery of IKEA furniture to those without the good fortune to possess an IKEA in their quaint little city. I should be making commission from these damn trips.

Signing off,
Admirable Auutmn
(Hee hee, Kelsey said I'm admirable. So there!)

I got nothin'.

I have become a creative sieve. I cannot think of anything that could even remotely interest anyone. So I'll just fill you in on my week so far.

I went to Sunshine today. Snowboarding. I hate to admit it, but this is the first time I've been out all year. It's embarassing because it's something I love doing so much. The wind today was incredible. I've never seen anything like it. I could hardly see a foot in front of me most of the time. It snowed all morning and cleared up a bit later in the afternoon. I did not anticipate how windy it would be when I left this morning, so I was a little cold on the lifts. Next time I'll take my vest. I doubt Doyle will ever read this, but the socks he gave me for Christmas? Incredible. My feet were so toasty! Usually by lunch I have to switch socks, and after a full day of snowboarding, my sweaty feet are always freezing. I only wore the one pair of socks - and my toes were cozy for the whole damn day! Absolutely incredible. I should frame them.

All in all, my day was very enjoyable. Lots of snow, a tasty hot dog at lunch, toasty toes... I can't ask for much more. No major injuries - just a raccoon face, a burnt tongue, and a small bump on my forehead. (That wasn't actually caused by a snowboarding accident per se, I just happened to sling my boot towards my face rather than over my shoulder... nothing out of the ordinary there.)

This past weekend, my Mum came to visit her hairdresser. She stayed in my apartment though. We saw The Matador - which was a scream. Pierce Brosnan was hysterical. I think this has become my Mum's new favorite movie.

Right now I'm reading an advanced copy of Augusten Burroughs' new book, Possible Side Effects, which is funny in that typical Augusten Burroughs sort of way, but also sort of tedious. And scattered. I get that he came from an extremely dysfunctional family and all, and that he was an alcoholic... but goddamn it, he's a fucking millionaire now. How sorry do I have to feel for him? Plus he uses the same metaphor in two separate stories. Which is weak. But he's still funny.

I just finished a book called A Little History of the World by E.H. Gombrich, which is this wonderful book written by an Austrian in 1935. The author updated and translated it into English just before he died in 2005. It's a book about important events in world history that have somehow shaped or contributed to the state of the world today. The book is intended for children (very intelligent children from what I gathered.) I found it very refreshing indeed. What I especially enjoyed was that typically, books on history tend to have a very Anglo-centric slant, whereas Gombrich focused only briefly on British history. However, my only criticism would be that he almost entirely ignored the history of Native North Americans and Africans, and he failed to mention Canada or Australia even once. He spent a lot of time discussing World War I & II, but focused on the heroics of the American troops - which I found strange seeing as America was the last country to join these wars, and Canada played such a huge part... but I digress. Perhaps if Gombrich had lived a little longer, he may have also been able to add a chapter on the Cold War - which would have been an interesting introduction to economics for the children this book was intended for.

A note on my descent into spinsterhood:
Yesterday I paid a visit to my friendly neighbourhood optometrist. He said that if my eyesight continues to deteriorate at the rate it is now, by this time next year I will need bifocals. So we've got braces, bifocals.... Mum - if you're reading this: you might as well keep buying me weiner dog figurines, calendars, tote bags, coffee mugs, and t-shirts... I've got this spinster thing in the bag.